The Moon Has Landed

The demon has been awakened. Once the moon finally lands on the earth the moon army will come to destroy us with their magic. It was once said that the magic of forever was trapped within the moon. As it turns out the moon is an ancient space ship orbiting Earth to fill us with terror, but people spread lies about science and planets knowing that if they did so everyone would lose respect for the moon. The moon has taken enough of this "orbiting around the Earth like Earth's bitch" bullcrap. People will learn to respect the power of the moon with it's infinite magic supply and vast armies of demons. How do I of all people know of this? Sam has revealed all the answers to me via popular music. All popular music is coded by Sam with hidden messages. I have the uncanny ability to decode Sam's messages and I feel it is only fair that I spread my knowledge with you all so you can prepare for the moon assault. I will be waiting for the demons with a rose pedal slingshot enhanced by ultraviolet waves of light. From my studies, it should be an effective weapon. Also I have used the leaves of roses to create an efficient source of power to automate my slingshot. I took stem cells and manufactured cells with chloroplasts and then hooked them up to a giant slingshot. It does all the work for me. Good luck to you all.