Some things you will never hear me say


- "I'll buy that for you."

- "Yeah I guess Catholicism really does make sense."

- "Hey, can I have the rest of your vegan burger?"

- "No I don't want any potato chips."

- "Are you going to the Kelly Clarkson concert too?"

- "Yeah, (insert anything about American Idol here), but Simon is such a jerk OMG!"

- "I like the summer."

- "I like the winter."

- "I like the spring."

- "I don't hate fall."

- "These girls are always getting in the way of my video games."

- "Dude Hostel was a cool movie."

- "I just love my cat."

- "Not all people deserve to die."

- "I was on E at this one rave..."

- "It was about that time that I realized my life's ambition was to be a respectable, contributing member of society and not dabble with illegal drugs."

- "Sure, you can borrow it for a while."

- "Nah it's ok, just pay me when you get a chance."

- "I'm in love!"

- "I think I'm gonna have to pass on the blowjob." (unless a dude is asking.)

- "I would never cheat on my girlfriend."

- "I have a girlfriend."

- "I might not get Halo 3."

- "High school was the best time of my life."

- "I respect and admire your opinion."

- "I don't have time to just sit around all day, I have stuff to do."

- "I was at this club..."

- "Guns are so evil, they should be outlawed!"

- "Dude I just got a new Dell!"

- "What's a cpu?"

- "I wish I could live with all my friends!"

- "Yo, got some rocks?"

- "I NEED ROCKS!"

- "That new Steven Segal movie was fuckin rockin!"

- "I've always respected country music as an artform."

- "I don't want to lead a life of crime."

- "Porno? EWWW!"

- "Yeah if someone was handing out free pornos in the street I wouldn't even want to get one."

- "You really mean a lot to me."

- "Damn he gave me too much weed this time."

- "Trance music doesn't even make me want to dance."

- "Cool is my middle name."

- "I think I'll pass I just finished smoking."

- "I was mixing a garden salad yesterday when the phone rang. I answered the phone, only to find out that my beloved wife had been killed in a freak gas-fire accident at a local taco truck. Apparently there were a total of 3 deaths, and several were injured."

- "This was the best day of my life!"

- "Working gives me purpose!"

- "You like my tattoo?"

- "Check out my rims yo, dubs."

- "There is no possible way my friend Sam could be God of some crazy theoretical multiverse."

- "I'll name him Leroy!"

- "All I wanted was just one more corndog!" (as my final words)

- "Dude, put the kid down."

- "Math Blaster is the only game that really captivated me."

- "I'm gonna donate this to charity."

- "Hey lets go fuck with that black guy over there."

- "I think that science solves everything."

- "Yeah I guess I shouldn't jack off again, I mean I already did it 5 times today."


FACE::ECAF