Why I Don't Get Chicks: Part II (The Alternative)


After thinking long and hard about why I don't get chicks, I came up with another rational explanation quite different from my previous one. I am cooler than all of the chicks at my school and therefore WAY too good for them. They all want me, but they know that they can't have me because I will just turn them down and tell them they aren't cool.

I am pretty sure that this could be the case because I thought to myself, "Why am I the only not cool person in the world?" which lead to my discovery that indeed I am cooler than all those stuck up bitches who walk around like their boyfriend stuck a giant pickle in their vagina. It is more rational to think that everyone else isn't cool and that I am, thus I do not get chicks. Chicks want me so much that it pains them to see me everyday being cool. This explains why I used to think that they thought I was ugly. In reality it pains them to see someone who is that much better than them. They are also really embarrased to talk to me because they are afraid of rejection. And I thought they were embarrased to talk to me because I was a loser, go figure.

And its true, I would reject them if they wanted to go out with me. It would be social disaster if someone saw me hanging out with a cheerleader or a "hot" chick. They think they are so great, but I can get better, and that my friends is the alternate reason of why I don't get chicks.

Which one is the real reason? Who knows, but I tend to lean toward me being cooler than everyone.


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