Icy Hot Facez
One thing that most people don't know about Ed (in the white shirt), Sam (in the gray shirt with the phat cross), and I (in the red shirt), is that we are also a group of hardcore thugstas known only as the Icy Hot Facez. Edward's gangsta alias is DJ Cool Pants, he is one of the most hardcore DJ's that the whole world has ever known. In fact he enjoys torturing people who cross him, so let that be a lesson to you naka.As if that wasn't enough, DJ Cool Pants is also a master popper and break dancer. He has been breakin' for several years now and is world renoun for his extreme abilities. DJ Cool Pants is also an avid weed smoker and is always mixin' it up on the turn tables.
Sam is Smokey Sam, but he was made legendary when he was MC STD. Smokey Sam has two things on his mind, hot women and weed. Smokey Sam is also the self-proclaimed God of the universe and DJ Cool Pants (Ed) is his loyal guardian. The only person that is even remotely close to being as cool as Smokey Sam is Mr. T from the A-Team. Smokey Sam put a magical spell on his gold chains that make it so Mr. T will never be as cool as him. If Mr. T tries to take of the chains, he automatically isn't as cool anymore, but if he keeps them on, he will never be as cool as Smokey Sam. If any of you reading this thought you were cool, think again. Sam is God and it doesn't get much cooler than that.
I, Nathan, am Nataldo Heraldo. I too worship Smokey Sam as the god of the universe. I have been known to do a little freestyle here and there and I enjoy beat boxin'. People say I am one of the best beat boxers they have ever heard, and I know that I am. I also try to break dance but I gave up when I realized no one is as good as DJ Cool Pants. I am also an avid fan of marijuana and enjoy smokin' up with the rest of the Icy Hot Facez.
As a crew, we are untouchable. The combined powers of Ed's breakdancing and turntable skills, the magical powers of Sam, and the untouchable beat box beats of mine, show that we aren't fooling around and that no one can phase this. The next time you think you are a hardcore gangsta, you best think twice about the Icy Hot Facez. We have been known to murder children who said we were stupid. We don't take that kind of shit.
One time we was cruisin' in downtown Merced, being cool, when some phony ass thug was callin us out. He was like, "Yo, y'all's is whack, throw it down fo somethin' BAD happen!"
Smokey Sam was like, "Nigga please!"
DJ Cool Pants be callin that foo out like, "Listen mother fucker, you can die right now, or in two seconds and shit."
I was all up in his grill sayin', "Yo fuckin' poser, you can't be callin' out God and shit, look motha fucka, he is like God!"
That phony thug was like, "Aight I didn't know it was like dat, sorry for botherin' you and shit." DJ Cool Pants wasn't gonna stand for that, he is the guardian of Smokey Sam after all. DJ Cool Pants got out of the car and fuckin' pulled out a baseball bat. Before that phony ass thug could get to runnin', DJ Cool Pants fuckin' hit his legs and keeped swingin' until that fucka's legs were mangled and broken. That thug be crying like a baby.
DJ Cool Pants was all like, "What you crying for little pussy ass bitch?" That thug just kept to crying and DJ Cool Pants kept to swinging. It wasn't long before that thug was out cold, and that's when we took our leave, in style.
So you just remember that next time you think about gettin' all hard with the Icy Hot Facez.
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