Instant Win?

Instantly win my ass. These under the cap games haven't been instant win games for years now.

What the fuck is this shit, why do I have to go on your stupid website to enter a code to see if maybe I "instantly" won. Oh wait let me check something real fast...

in·stant·ly - Pronunciation[in-stuhnt-lee]


1. immediately; at once.
2. urgently.

Those fuckers shouldn't be claiming it's an instant win game like it was before. Going home, turning on your computer, getting online, go to their stupid site that takes a million years to load:

Ok so I guess I can still instantly win! Well let me instantly enter my code...

Oh yeah I guess I gotta instantly create an account to yahoo in order to even see if I won a prize. I happen to have an account at yahoo though so this shouldn't take much longer, let me just login...

Oh what the fuck now I gotta register again? Fuck it I really want to know if I won, this fucking game is such bullshit I can't believe that they put instantly win on the fucking bottle.


I just fucking love this, Thank You for taking 15 minutes to sign away your personal information to 7 different companies, now do you want to enter a code? What the fuck else would I want to do that's the whole fucking point. You don't need to ask me if I am ready, I was ready 30 minutes ago when I bought the fucking soda at the store. I want to win as soon as I open the bottle, or instantaneously if you will. I can't believe this shit!

Ok I am finally here, fucking shit. Seem's pretty self explanatory to me, except the fucking game plays counter, what the fuck is that?

Play now? I thought I just fucking played! What the fuck. Thanks a lot Mountain Dew, SoBe, Amp, Xbox360, Adidas, Chevrolet, and Yahoo! You are all fucking pieces of shit. I wonder how many more pages of bullshit I have to go through to see if I even fucking won anything.

HOLY SHIT I CAN WIN A CORVETTE? Yeah my ass I'm gonna win a corvette, but hey what the fuck. Who would choose the vintage corvette? I'm going 2009, gonna put some D's on that bitch.

Surprise surprise, fuck this stupid bullshit. I remember I used to win free sodas all the time. That shit was fucking pimp. One time I went on a 3 cap combo, and drank free soda for like 2 days in a row. The internet is good for some shit, like pirating all forms of media, namely pornography, but it sucks for soda contests. It's just another way for those fucking bastards to get more advertising and marketing research.

I dunno I guess I am just dreaming of a better time, when you could win with the twist of a cap...