The Downfall of Country Music


Country music is some of my least favorite music, and I had to grow up listening to it all the time because my parents like it. I will say one thing about the country music I heard when I was growing up, it is way fucking better than the bullshit that is popular in country music now. I have several reasons behind my claim. Let's start with the arrival of the pretty boy wannabe fuckers. Country music isn't about looking good or even being much of a ladies man. It is about spousal and alcohol abuse as well as ignorance and rodeos. True country performers looked like a typical guy you would see at the Livestock Salesyard. If you don't know what I mean, well it's simple. A white guy with a cowboy hat, a button-up, long-sleeved shirt (preferably with clashing colors) and blue denim pants (preferably with a belt buckle). Now we got fruit booting sons of bitches pansy footing around on stage with their trendy pretty boy haircut and their stupid shit eating grins. Don't just take my word for it, check it out for yourself:

(The Rascal Flatts, you have got to be fucking kidding me)

Ok so maybe you aren't familiar with the true country artists, the people I had to listen to growing up. Well here are classic examples of true country singers.

(Garth Brooks, the one in the middle, notice the button up shirts, blue denim pants, and cowboy hats)

(Joe Diffie, you might notice he is missing the cowboy hat, but that is considered an aesthetic choice for country singers)

(Alan Jackson, a truly class act, notice the extra decorative button up shirt)

Ok so now you see the difference. I already know that women LOVE faggots like the Rascal Flatts, but we can disregard their opinions for obvious reasons. So some of the new artists don't look like traditional country artists, so what? Yeah well the differences don't just stop there. The lyrical content is the proving grounds behind true country music and bullshit. Let's get an example of some stupid bullshit that the Rascal Flatts sing:

"I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then
and just let 'em out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again
I pretend I'm ok, but that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was trying to do"

Yeah he is singing about crying like a pansy. Don't get me wrong though, true country music can be about being sad over a woman that left you because you beat the shit out of her, but the crying shit is unacceptable. Here is a classic example of a true country song about breaking up:

"Blame it all on my roots
I showed up in boots
And ruined your black tie affair
The last one to know
The last one to show
I was the last one
You thought you'd see there
And I saw the surprise
And the fear in his eyes
When I took his glass of champagne
And I toasted you
Said, honey, we may be through
But you'll never hear me complain

'Cause I've got friends in low places
Where the whiskey drowns
And the beer chases my blues away
And I'll be okay
I'm not big on social graces
Think I'll slip on down to the oasis
Oh, I've got friends in low places"

That's right, he has broken up with a lady but now he is indignant to her feelings because he has alcohol as his friend. Is he going to cry? Maybe, but he isn't going to sing about it because otherwise he would betray the country music artform.

So the douchey pansy lyrics are bad, but I think the country music that really pisses me off the most is anything produced by Toby Keith, the corporate whore of country music. Country music already advocates values that coincide with corporate and conservative values so why do they need to create posterboy conservative freak artists like Toby Keith?

(Notice that he uses a similar visual style to traditional country artists, but don't be fooled he still has a shit eating grin. Also notice the bracelet which indicates his douchebag status)

Toby Keith is a tool, pure and simple. All you have to do is look at his lyrics of his extremely retarded, blindly patriotic song "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue (The Angry American)":

"Hey Uncle Sam
Put your name at the top of his list
And the Statue of Liberty
Started shakin' her fist
And the eagle will fly
Man, it's gonna be hell
When you hear Mother Freedom
Start ringin' her bell
And it feels like the whole wide world is raining down on you
Brought to you Courtesy of the Red White and Blue"

Absolute propaganda bullshit. Alan Jackson, a true country singer, did a song about the 9/11 attacks. The main difference is that his is simply a reflection and acknowledgement of his ignorance. His song "Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning)":

"I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell you
The difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith hope and love are some good things he gave us
And the greatest is love"

As you can see the chorus here advocates nothing but blind ignorance, so why do they insist on pushing out an agenda with douchebag whores like Toby Keith?

Ok the point here is that true country lyrics are simple. They are about the simple things in life and advocate traditional conservative values as well as severe alcoholism. Bullshit country will try to either get all super mushy sensitive on you or it will be trying to directly command you to do something. Perhaps the greatest example of quality country lyrics are from one of the lesser known talents, Joe Diffie. One of his only popular songs happens to also be one of the best and catchiest country songs I have ever heard, "Pickup Man" (the other song is "Third Rock from the Sun"). Here is the chorus so you can see why:

"You can set my truck on fire, and roll it down a hill
But I still wouldn't trade it for a Coupe DeVille
I've got an eight foot bed that never has to be made
You know if it weren't for trucks we wouldn't have tailgates
I met all my wives in traffic jams,
There's just something women like about a pickup man"

As you can see it is extremely pointless, ignorant, and best of all, irrelevant. However subliminally I have come to accept this song as fact because I opted to get a truck rather than a car. Too bad it turns out that Joe Diffie's social commentary, about the preferences women have according to the ownership of a motor vehicle, is completely inaccurate.

So I hope that with the cold hard facts I have compiled here, you can come to the educated and logical conclusion that I am right. Country music reached it's peak years ago, and now there is nothing left but bullshit.


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